I Guess I Never Knew At All
by FallenAngelofFangirls
Summary: Rather short fanfic, Hikaru learns more about death and just how life rattling it can be to those involved. Hikaru POV. T for death (that's kind of obvious)
1. Chapter 1

**Yay for me being demented! The chapters for this will all be pretty short, but there will be quite a few more if all goes well. Hope you enjoy.**

We woke up together that morning curled up next to each other. The alarm was screeching at us, but neither of us wanted to get up. Reluctantly, I sat up and whacked it, not caring which button I hit. Within an hour or so, Kaoru and I were ready to leave the house. We were waiting inside for the car to pull up. Neither of us really wanted to talk, so we both just stared as the droplets of rain raced toward the bottom of the window.

Behind the glass and water, I saw a blurry black figure of a car pull up. I scowled, not wanting to go to school. I looked at Kaoru, and he had a similar look.

"Do you just want to skip today?" I asked, hoping he would choose to follow along with this shenanigan.

He sighed. "No, we have to go. Tamaki will yell at us if we skip without a good excuse." I sighed in return, standing and grabbing an umbrella.

"Then we'd better get in the car." He nodded and we went out the door, letting the butler close it behind us. I opened the car door and let Kaoru crawl in first, then quickly followed him as to avoid getting soaked by the downpour.

I immediately turned my head and stared out the window. I was disappointed in my brother for not staying home with me, but tried to push that thought away. Clearing my mind, I spaced out. Suddenly, I was brought to my senses by some fuzzy words and an equally fuzzy chuckle.

"Hunh?" I responded, turning my head and snapping back into my senses.

"_I said_ I bet Tamaki would react in a hilarious way if we somehow distracted Haruhi every time he tried to talk to her!" Kaoru repeated himself, grinning from ear to ear. I laughed.

"It's worth a shot. Seeing him get flustered is priceless!" We both laughed in unison.

"How should we distract Haruhi?"

"Offer her free things. Commoners love free things."

"True, true. But eventually she'll get bored."

"Then we can talk over Tamaki."

"Or poke her."

"Or throw something."

We both laughed again.

"We're great at this," I said, smiling. I looked over at Kaoru; his smile had faded.

"What's wrong?" He looked up at me with a glitter of worry in his eyes.

"Do you think people don't like us because we do these things?"

"Nah. It's funny! Plus, they know that we don't mean to offend Tamaki. He's just a spaz."

He looked back at me with a smirk. "Yeah, he is."

"Plus, I'll always love you. You don't need anyone else."

"Thanks, brother."

"Anytime, brother."

I looked back out the window. Then suddenly, there was a loud noise. Well, more like a combination of multiple loud noises. There was a car horn, screeching brakes, and a banging noise. Then, everything seemed to move in slow motion. I whipped my head in the direction of the noises to see tearing metal. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I closed my eyes, as if that would save me. I felt wetness, but I ignored it. Sharp metal and glass dug into my skin; both made my skin and flesh sear in pain. I wanted to scream again, but I was holding my breath; nothing would come out. I felt my consciousness slipping away and tried to save it, but I couldn't. My last thought was if Kaoru felt the same way. That thought scared the last of my conscious mind away.

_Kaoru..._

**I wasn't planning to put this up until it was finished, but it was sitting around and I couldn't wait anymore. Please comment - tell me what you thought!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am a terrible person for this. But I hope you like it.**

I opened my eyes slowly, seeing blurry silhouettes on the edges of my vision. Fuzzy voices around me whispered back and forth. My vision cleared up, and I noticed the entire Host Club was surrounding me. All of them looked pretty shaken; everyone except for Kyoya had bloodshot eyes. _Have they been crying...?_

"What's going on?" My voice was raspy, and I coughed afterwards. My throat was very dry.

"You are at the hospital." Haruhi responded.

"I know that, but why?" I coughed again.

"You got hit by car on the drive to school." Tamaki was the responder this time. Kaoru resurfaced in my mind.

"Where is Kaoru?" My question was met with throat clearings and pitiful faces.

"**Where is Kaoru?**" I repeated, getting worried and impatient. Kyoya spoke up.

"Kaoru is... No longer with us." I frowned and furrowed my brows, thinking for a moment about what this could mean. Suddenly, it hit me. _Kaoru is... Dead...?_ Tears filled my eyes at the thought of never seeing my brother again. _**Dead?!**_

"B-b-b-b-but..." I stuttered, trying and failing to regain myself.I felt like I was going to be sick.

"K-K-K-K-K-Kaoru..." I felt tears push themselves into my eyes, blurring my vision. I didn't try to stop them from falling from my eyes. I didn't know how to stop them anymore. As my face became more and more drenched in the wetness of my tears, I could feel all of my self control slipping away from me. Kaoru... Mental pictures of my now passed twin and I flashed in my mind- every prank, every smile, every giggle- every little gesture that seemed so small back then suddenly meant the world the world to me.

And all I wanted was to see him smile one more time.

Suddenly, I lost all control of myself. I began to scream and wail as if someone was pulling my limbs off my body. Haruhi and Tamaki tried to comfort me, but I just lashed out at them and pushed them away. I didn't want them. They weren't who I needed to see. _Kaoru is dead... Kaoru... is gone..._

The last thing I saw was everyone slowly and sadly drifting out of my room. I must've been crying for at least another hour or so, but eventually it wore me out to the point where I just passed out. My last thought was of Kaoru hugging me and giggling on our seventh birthday, more specifically of his words- "We'll never, ever be apart!"

_He lied..._

I woke up with sore, itchy eyes. Haruhi was leaning on my bedside, frowning and staring out the window to my left. I followed her eyes and instead of looking out the window, I saw Tamaki, asleep on my bedside. I yawned loudly, getting Haruhi's attention. She immediately sat up and hugged me around the neck.

"I'm so sorry..." she whispered in my ear. Tears filled my eyes once again, but I tried to keep calm. I wrapped my arms around her and cried into her shoulder quietly. In response, she just rubbed my back and whispered calming things such as "It's going to be okay..." and "I'm here for you...". Next thing I knew, I was stuck in a dream...

I was surrounded by darkness. I heard a far off voice singing a faint tune. I stood and ran in the direction of the voice. After some long amount of time, I saw a light. I slowed, but continued toward it. I quickly recognized the now audible voice as Kaoru's. As I got closer, I began to recognize the tempo and melody more clearly. Beginning to hum the song myself, I came to a set of glowing red and gold stairs. Climbing them, I came up right behind my brother. Then the lyrics hit me...

_Well I never really thought that you'd come tonight..._

I recognized the song.

_While the crown hangs heavy on either side, give me on last kiss... _

Tears pushed into my eyes.

_Well, we're far too young to die..._

I screamed at the top of my lungs.

_Far too young to die..._

**I am sorry for this. *hides in Tamaki corner* The song is Far Too Young To Die by Panic! At The Disco. Please comment!**


End file.
